Today is D day and this time they will not be coming back until the end. It was 5:45am as we headed out towards the base. As we rode along we went over all the things I need to keep up with or do while he is gone that we have discussed so many times already. I think we kept talking because if silence came the flood gates would open up and I was trying sooooo hard not to cry for Alex's sake. A few tears escape anyway despite my every effort. I built my strength up so much in preparation for this day and it being our second time in less than two months, I believe made it easier this time to say goodbye or so I thought. We pulled into the pier and parked. I got out and gave him a huge hug, not wanting to let him go, but knew if I didn't make it quick, I would break down into tears. I gave him a kiss and went to get Alex out. We tried to make this seem like Daddy was taking a fun trip on this big ship and we would all see him soon. No tears, just tight hugs and Alex and I both waving bye to Daddy and telling him we love him.
I drove off seeing him boarding the ship. We didn't stay behind to see the ship pulling out; it would have just been too much. Alex and I went to Mc Donalds for breakfast afterwards. Still my strength sustained and we made it through breakfast and then drop-off at school with no problems. As I was driving to his school to pick him up that afternoon it finally hit me the reality of our life for the next 6 months. I kept thinking of all the events he is going to miss; Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines Day, my birthday, this baby growing in me, the ultrasound where the doctor announces whether it is a boy or a girl, and God Forbid the birth of this baby. The flood gates open and the tears are pouring as I am driving towards his school. I take a deep breath and pull over short of the schools parking lot to wipe away the tears and dry my eyes. I can't believe after all these hours I finally let my wall down. I keep telling myself "not now, you have to hold it together for Alex's sake." I knew these goodbyes would be a reality when I met him, I knew this when I married him. It never gets easier to say goodbye and adding a child to the mix makes saying goodbye that much more difficult.
I know we will all be ok and with the holidays coming up this time apart will hopefully pass by quickly. I miss you sooooo much already baby! I promise to take good care of Alex and Baby Boo #2 and keep the home fires burning till your return. We love you soooooo much!
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